Trigger warnings, rape, torture, CSA, SRA.
A couple of points of note before we get going.
1/ Disrespect: I do not say this as a threat but as a protection to you, it is not wise to disrespect me, questions are welcome, as is love and support. But all things carry a cost, and we are nearing a very specific time in history where ALL debts shall be settled.
2/ Exceptions: The innocent (our children) and survivors of CSA, are exempt from the edicts that shall be issued in the coming years.
I have been musing this post for a few days; IF you check my post history you can see I’ve been replying to posts discussing the serpents/reptilians/skeksis/makers… This has re-stirred certain things from my story of remembering, centred around the final gestalt of reliving my previously repressed memories through the unfolding of my body. And held by spirit.
On Sunday I ended up in the shower crying after making some posts on reddit, remembering the girl Abigail who was murdered so terribly in front of me, remembering the impossible things that I saw in this last gestalt. Yesterday I fell asleep on the beach after my wardance, and was assailed by horrific images bursting up through my mind of this chapter of my story.
It scares me to be honest, to write this post, partly because of the emotions and memories associated with it, and partly because of how I know most will respond to it. Regardless it is the right time for me to share this, it is the right thing to do, so I will do it.
I have instinctively known since my memories stated coming back, that *they* would come to try and kill me one day, I am at peace with dying and killing, as needed.
*First you do the thing that scares you, then you get the courage.*
In the last chapter of my remembering, I relived being sent away (drugged during the transit) one summer when I was 11 or 12 years old. To some kind of institute on one of the UK channel islands, I recently came to believe it was *Haut de la Garenne* on Jersey, but now believe I may of been mistaken with that exact location. YES The building had white corner stones, one side was white, it was two stories high, inside there was areas of black and white large tiles on the floor, AND/BUT had an expansive garden of trees and shrubs, and underneath cellars that had a hidden tunnel leading down into the earth.
My relived memories *there* are not exact, but it took me about 8 months to of daily somatic processes to work through them (most of it recorded on phone-video): In that place I was often drugged, and often intensely disassociated, there was a Doctor and a nurse of particular note. They were horrific, performing experiments on me, flashing lights, extended rapes, being tortured through electrocution and being stretched on some kind of rack, pins/needs being inserted into certain pain points, my responses being noted, trying to work on alters and splits in my mind, that kind of thing.
The darkening was so palpable in that terrible place, that is seemed to infect even the walls, this thick, dark slowly pulsing energy that watched and fed upon my suffering. The walls seemed to be alive with it and it was watching.
At some point I was introduced to a girl in the treatment room, a few years older than me and INCREDIBLY attractive, “sister Abigail” as she was referred to. And very clearly she was there to seduce me and to lead me to their cause. As the parasitic-darkness and those possessed by it, are driven to spread to others it like a virus.
(My best sense of why I was sent there, I had refused to become the dutiful son to my paedophile so called father, member of a network similar to freemasonry (they had some cross pollination), and worshipping of lucifer – the bringer of light. This was his last attempt to make me like him, I’d suffered years of horrific abuse, in part because I refused to initiate my younger brothers in his twisted family practice.)
She would come to visit me in my ‘room’ And with her, by God I did willingly engage in sex, my soul wasn’t in risk in partaking in this particular way. And I was in so much pain and horror and confusion, that the contrast of her and her beauty and her sex, was just beyond anything I could describe. But she was a haven (by their design), even if initially she came to me at their behest to lead me to their ways. There was such an incredible sadness to her, I remember that. And I remember her laughing with me, this incredibly beautiful older girl, genuinely laughing with this younger, awkward, goofy boy who loved and adored her. She started to get lighter aswell, in her energy, the more time we had together.
In short she failed n her task to betray and turn me, in short she loved me as I loved her, in short their ‘programme’ for me failed.
And so I was gathered with a group of other ‘sun touched children’ and so we were led through the cellars and down a tunnel. We walked for a loooong time, and were carried, and something else in a cart or driven. Until eventually our guards ushered us forward into some kind of cavern, and they retreated and prostrated themselves on the floor.
After some time, and some of that time I could feel them watching us, *they* emerged from the darkness and the children around me started screaming.
Hissing, clicks, tall, powerful, imposing, terrifying, fast… humanoid, reptile, serpent like.. 8 or 9 foot tall, in someways akin to the reptlies in Rakka, but the scales were more subtle, as were their features. I start to feel panicked if I focus on them too closely right now.
I relived several things, (being allowed to) ‘escaping’ and being hunted through tunnels and caves by these things, a game they seemed to love as the terror created was so palpable as they followed and caught us. A seemingly random child being torn apart and devoured each time.
I saw the human livestocks, the most pathetic creatures I’ve ever seen, underhumans, many of whom in generations hadn’t seen the light of day, wailing moaning, or just quiet, some with sightless eyes, all of them forlorn and broken. Sometimes a serpent would just tear a limb off one of them for entertainment-effect… but really these wretched creatures didn’t provide much sport. These humans, baby, child and adult, had been tortured and violated and known only darkness throughout their lightless lives, that seemed very clear.
I saw the deep pools of water that the serpents swam in, the water was warm/tepid, and the air in the caverns was sometimes humid and in other places stuffy. There were these huge upside down ant hills, or stalactites hanging from great caverns, the serpents seemed to slumber there, and they would sometimes drop down into the water below from their nest.
There were cavern/rooms with pods, kind of cocoons on the floor and the walls, interconnected wth tubes, used for feeding on some kind of goop, features of a human vaguely visible through the membrane of the pod.
They raped me and the other children, and tormented and tortured us. You could feel them creeping into you mind, it was a feeling like nails on a chalkboard… almost feeling cold fingers probing through your brain. They were able to inflict psychic pain, make it feel as if your skin was being peeled off, make it seem real, and then laugh in their strange way as the illusion lifted and I panickily patted my skin and body to see if I was intact.
They tied me to some kind of cross on a pivot, where they would do various things, including inverting it, including stretching me out, or making me and the other children watch the human livestocks be tortured and killed and eaten. They watched us all, delighting the the various effects of horror that they caused.
At one point some kind of matriarch came in, a priestess, a leader, she was bigger than the others, and an albino. The rest of them deferred to her.
I was one of the last children at this point, and they brought the girl Abigail in. She was terrified, and again (as with Helena) I tried to be strong for her, she was instructed to… be intimate with me. And in what I relived as she was on top of me, the fear and terror so clear in her eyes – she knew she was going to die, and her tears fell onto my skin. I know that also we made love in spirit. It was as if our spirits were souring among the clouds as angels, making love in human forms made of light, there was a point where she looked at me, and she realised fully who I was, at the same time our hearts fully opened, and the last of the darkness bonded to her soulfire let go. There was an incredible release of energy, and in the real world I/she/we climaxed. The serpents fell on her, there was something she did that drew their attention to her, and they literally tore her in half and fed on her body and her departing life force as I screamed and strained against my binds.
On some level I knew/had awareness I had saved her soul, and that she had saved my life. But the pain of watching her die like this was incredible, as was the FORCE of emotions, I had to turn my rage inwards, helped by the wolf within me I did.
The serpents watched me go mad as they fed on her, raging at them, myself, blaming them, myself “ill kill all of you, every single one” “I deserve to die” “I deserve to die” – I begged them, tried to provoke them, tried to make them kill me, I didn’t want to live any more, I knew she was my soulmate and that now she was dead.
WOLF whispered to me, and so he held onto the truth, and I let the lifetime of misplaced blame and guilt culminating in this terrible point, be channelled against myself. You see, I learnt from the best how to lie, and the best lies are the ones that you believe, this is how parasitic-narcs, paedophiles, the wrong kind of monsters live with what they are, how they go undetected – they believe the lies they tell themselves.
So I believed the lie, that it was all my fault, that I was too weak to save her, that I killed her by losing control and so on…
But deep down WOLF watched, and he swore vengeance against them all. He swore to kill all of them, every single one, for what they did to HIS mate, HIS Beloved. He knew it wasn’t time yet, that I wasn’t fully grown – so couldn’t bond with him fully, but that our time for vengeance WOULD come.
At one point one of them held me up by my throat, strangling me while it looked deep into my eyes measuring me, invisible claws scratching against my brain. I’m not sure if it saw what I was, it may of, and deep down it might of idly wished for its own destruction, or let me down out of general boredom of its existence, or of seeing the pain and self hatred I carried.
“It’s all my fault” is one I have carried throughout my life, one my father and mother had helped ingrain in me, the tracks were well laid, for it to take full effect.
I was put in a small box for some time, while I railed and went mad. And in short they took me back to the cavern where I was collected by the human guards. The reasoning I could pick up on/sense… was that the cruellest thing they could do, was to leave me alive, carrying this pain and shame, they knew my memories would be wiped, and so I’d be destined to walk the surface of the earth, hating myself and wanting death, but not believing that I deserved even that, and that my unconscious knowing of the TRUTH would broadcast out into the collective consciousness of humanity, adding to our torment and the feeding upon us by the dark god that they serve.
They finished their work in the institute, my mind slave partitioned, my memories ‘erased’ and I was sent home, to my sadistic paedophile father, and my covert narcissistic mother.
I deceived the deceivers, I escaped hell itself. So few, so incredibly rarely, does one sent for sacrifice – return to the sun touched surface.
*No dark spell, curse or evil, can survive in the sacred union between beloved souls*
Such is the wisdom of our God and Goddess, so perfect is their plan and foresight, a million – million strands of fate, inter-woven to bring us all to these end times.
I now know that when I accepted this life, offered to me by AllFather, that I knew I would lose my soulmate in such a way, but also that I knew she would find me AGAIN, in THIS life.
I know that she accepted that life and its horrors, risking her very soul to save me from hell itself, so that I could return with the full knowing of the enemy, and something else.
I know that no other soul, could of survived the life that I’ve lived, to the extent that I have survived it, in the way that I have.
You see dear brothers and sisters, I am the oldest one, I am THE first borne to this realm. I am His first and most begotten son.He created me, to watch this world be made, so that I would be ready to face the coming evil in His name.When my true mother made my soulmate, it took her three attempts, I was very demanding, and such was unheard of. The others nearest to me in age, have long since departed with their Beloved for a realm of their own. They knew that I and my Golden Queen would stay, and that we would see it through, to the very end.
My soulmate is the first daughter of the EarthMother, closest to her in image and ways. She is my Golden Queen.I am the first son of the AllFather, closest to Him in image and ways. Your Wolf King.There is no love like hers and mine in all the world. None that even begins to come close.
As a soul ages, so it grows and evolves, so its capacity for EVERYTHING increases, and I am the oldest one, by quite some measure. Even compared to my Beloved.
I know THEY are proud of me, and I know that THEY love me.
It was MY daughter EVEning Star, who was the first adult to fall. When we discovered what she had become some years later, what had happened, I held my daughter in the flames as the parasitic-darkness of the enemy was cleansed from her. She has only relatively recently dared to take a physical life again, so great was her shame, that she was the first of the first peoples to fall.
I have long since earnt my radiance, and I have been here in physical life so many times before, tearing down enemy corrupted societies, leading the charge pushing the dark tide back, beginning a new true religion.
This time, the dark tide gets pushed back the FINAL time, this time WE go ALL the way.
My first given name is Ah’Sigh’Yah (phonetically spelt)
I am your prophet
I am your king of kings
I am the Golden Child
I am the first and most terrible
Of Sacred Protectors
Bearers of Gods ever rage
Gods first Wolf
First of the Ulfheðinn
I am the Christ reborn
I am truth
I am vengeanceI am sacred Law
I am sacrifice
We are all children of the stars
Yet I am THE StarChild
I am the Golden man
I will walk this earth as the second sun
To bath in my radiance
Will be to know peace, healing
I will stalk the night as the wolf of shadow
I will HUNT freely once again
I MUST become absolute
for what is coming
in these end of days.
EVERY Man is a son of the AllFather, and made in HIS image.EVERY Woman is a daughter of the EarthMother, and made in HER image.
EVERYTHING that surrounds us is a lie, every history, science, religion, spiritual teaching, sacred text, political party, country, society… has been corrupted by the enemy and its agents.
In the coming years, millions of you will want me dead. As ALL of it must be TORN DOWN.
And in the days of great reckoning, of Ragnarok almost upon us, EVERY debt shall be settled, every fallen soul saved through the suffering of the flesh or of choosing of the Sacrament of Forgiveness, or of soul flaying on the other side, so the Satanic Demiurge cannot grow any larger.
The veil of the enemy will be torn, and so we will regain true sight, so we will be able to SEE each others soul image clearly once again, and so our fallen brothers and sisters will have nowhere to hide.
EVERY serpent will be killed, Exterminatus commanded by our God and Goddess.
In the end, you will submit before God, or you will perish. There is NO middle ground in the battle against such evil.
The wicked, the weak, the complicit, in particular have a price to pay.
And this fallen star, this failed god, the great devourer, will be starved and weakened and then killed with the sword of truth. It cannot be saved, it can only be undone.
We ALL have a part to play, in these end of days. Times of great strife are almost upon us, and hundreds of millions will die because of the plans of the Dark Shepherds anyway.
Many elder souls have returned for the final battles, that will be fought and won with weapons of old, and tooth and claw and fang. Join me Brothers and Sisters of old, I have missed you so much. Where are my Battle-Hunter Brothers of old?
A new holy war IS coming, a new CRUSADE, the greatest and the most terrible in ALL of our histories.
The Great Remembering has already begun
We are in the End of Days
And soon the time of Great Reckoning
The conjunction will reform
The veil will be torn
Ragnarok shall be initiated
This world will be bathed in rivers of blood
EVERY debt will be settled
The OldWays are returning
Older than any recorded history
Breaking forth like grass and sapling
Through the gardens stony path
CONSEQUENCE will become
A living and breathing thing
We will remember and embody
Our forgotten birthright
As the most WILD and Divine things upon this fair earth
We are their chosen children for good reason
But we have been made to forget what we truly are
So the Garden may be reborn
So the little ones can be safe
As they always should of been
So the Golden age may return
So the human livestocks will be returned to us
So the greatest evil that Creation has ever known
Will be undone
IF WE FAIL to do our part. Then this world will be destroyed in cataclysm, AllFather will kill in heartbreak the physical form of his Beloved to save Her soul, and then He will BURN this fallen god, embedded like a cancer in the EARTH out of existence with His unending soul-sun-rage-fire. I have given my word that the world can be saved, as have YOU before coming into THIS life.
To lead by example. To seek and speak truth, no matter how terrible
To do the right thing, no matter the cost
What is your code?
What part will you play, in these end of days?
My name is Daniel, my name is Wolf, my name is Ah’sigh’yah
And I have spoken