I want to share this important aspect of my story.
Disclaimer: I LOVE women, this is no shade upon women. I am talking about a VERY specific subset of damaged and dangerous and malicious women. There is also a male version of what I’m discussing which could be called a ‘Warlock’ – swap terms/ sexes as needed to feel useful for your story/circumstances.
I have a history with witches, the really bad kind, going all the way back to my ‘mother.’ I want to talk however about my fairly recent ex; Daphne who I had an almost nine year relationship with.
Witches are REAL, and I’m not talking about white witches or hedge witches or women who practice magic. I’m talking about the dark and scary sort who are written about in many a story and legend. Witches who steal and eat children, witches who seek to destroy men and erode kingdoms apart.
They also can be accurately referred to as: vampires, energy vampires, Mara, succubus (or incubus for male variants).
I met my ex some years ago in Norway on a spiritual retreat for leaders of a particular practice called circling. It can be described as a form of interpersonal meditation, and incredibly powerful if confronting – it’d be possibly to get the kind of break throughs in a 1-2 hour circle, that one might otherwise 6 or 7 days into a vipassana silent meditation retreat.
There is so many points of interest but I’ll try and keep it to the most salient for the sake of brevity.
1/ 4-5 months after we had come together, I was living in Europe with her, and one evening we were ‘connecting’ in short practising prolonged eye contact and noticing and reporting to each other what occurred in both of our experiences, we’d done a LOT of this – and often seeing due to such prolonged eye contact as if many faces/aspects of one’s self play across the others face.
This one particular evening in her apartment, as we did so the room suddenly became distinctly cold, the two cats started acting extremely erratic and fearful, and then what I can only describe as apparitions of white crone/witch like faces seemed to be shrieking and zooming around the room, there was a palpable sense of fear and dread in the air. It lasted a while and I felt as if they were attacking me and trying to scare me. Then it stopped suddenly.
2/ the second or third time this happened, my ex was saying to me she was having an impression/images that it was associated with a past life, and that in this past life these witches had killed her and her baby and I’d failed to protect her. Something which didn’t feel true to me but I kind of went along with things as I trusted and loved her so much – so I remained open to what it was she said she was seeing.
3/ I returned to the UK for a short time not long after, and was meeting up with some of the young men from the young men’s WOLF PACK group that I had used to run with them – I guess a support group for them as they came of age, using circling and other practices together.
I was telling two of them about the phenomena, and then yet again I started feeling the same energy and seeing the same appriations out of the corner of my eye. The two young men were very sure they could feel it as well, and confirmed that it felt both alarming and very real. So after a while I decided to leave the pub and lo and behold as I walked up the dark lane to the car I felt them with me.
I had had enough at this point, so turned around to face them, not paying any attention to the fear/terror that surrounded them, I told them I loved them, tried to send love to them and said thats enough. That was the last I heard from them for a while.
4/ fast forward 7 years, there hadn’t really been any other sign of them through the relationship. But as my repressed memories of CSA and darker things had been started to return to me. My younger son had been complaining of dreams about a witch hiding under his bed.
One day I went around the house, visualising golden light in my hands and my chest, basically sealing all the windows and doors, leaving protective items that had been blessed at every thresh hold, and flushing out every corner of the house to ensure it was safe and clear for the trauma work I was doing every day while the kids were at school, and also to try and see if there was a witch as my younger son had complained.
I found her in the corner of his room, and so felt the similar cold dread and shrieking apparition.. and so I chased her around the house, eventually forcing her out through the kitchen window, sealing it behind her, and then going into the garden and drawing a line saying “you may not pass this line and are not welcome in my house, if you’re hurting and in need of help I’m sorry for that, BUT I cannot allow you to cause distress to my son”
There was maybe some confusion in me as to the source of the witch at this point, due to previous conversations with my now ex which had led me to think she was connected to me, but also because I’d recently been having experiences with the soul of the girl who was sacrificed alongside me when I was 5.5yr old. Anyway at this point I thought any distress or unsettledness in the house or my family was due to me and my trauma.
Although in re-watching THIS footage, it seemed I did have some clarity that these witches actually originated from the woman who is now my ex. (https://rumble.com/v223qo5-my-journey-and-remembering-of-csa-12-wednesday-hypnosis-mind-bending-and-th.html) around 30 minutes in.
5/ fast forward eighteen months, I’d been warning my now ex for ten months that if she didn’t address why she didn’t believe me about my dads involvement as my core abuser that she was going to loose me. Eventually after she went away for a medicinal journey, and last minute changed the intention away from what we had agreed upon, I knew out relationship was dead and so ended things with her not long afterwards.
I remember that night that I ended things with her, it felt so strange, I could feel her rage, and I was talking to her while focussing to a spot on the ceiling which felt like an ancestor of mine was there…. but yeah – I can’t really describe the feeling in the room, but it wasn’t a normal response in anyway to a relationship ending. I know normal shock, heartbreak etc… myself and I know it well… it was coldness and rage and a calculating’ness in the air.
I got out of the house after the conversation and for the next week came back only during the days while we figured out how to say to the boys we’d broken up.
6/ fast forward a few days, and while I’d been at a friends helping him work on his house. I was discussing my ex with him and had a series of images come to me very quickly but extremely vividly – third / minds eye originated.
6.1 – a spider in a cave with a glowing lure on its back, the glowing light would lure (femininity/softness/promise of connection) me onto the web where I’d get stuck so the giant spider could feed on my life force, and as I gradually pulled away from the spider and sought to escape the cave, so the glowing lure turned on again to once again draw me close like some hypnotised fool.
6.2 a white serpent, hovering over my chest with fangs exposed, I was reminded of recent somatic trauma process where that particular serpent had been visible also.
6.3 a crone like old hag, in a dark corder of the woods, still and stagnant water near.
I KNEW these images where both metaphorical truths of my ex, but alos literal manifestations of the energy that she carried inside her.
7/ a few days after this, it was a Saturday and there was a school fete she and the boys were going to that evening. I was talking with the boys and the youngest said to “daddy I had the dream again, the witch was there and she was stealing my hair as I slept, she then took my hair and baked a nasty cake with it, and then she pretended to be nice and to get me to eat the cake, but don’t worry daddy – I didn’t eat it, I hid it under my tongue and pretended to swallow it down” now my son was 6 at the time… and his mother was increasingly hovering and uncomfortable, she tried interrupting the conversation and I tried reassuring her that it was ok (subcommunicating that I wont expose her) but that he needs to talk about it. I told him well done and then she kinda fronted up, threateningly closing distance with me to get me to stop talking with him, I was sat on the floor and made the barest motion of movement to meet her, my head moving forward a cm or so.. but communicating clearly I wasn’t going to be cowed. she stopped and walked out.
Later that night I had a message from her saying that she “feared for he safety” coming back to the house (even though I wasn’t staying there and hadn’t been).
This was her officially pressing the ‘button’.
9/ fast forward a few months, and not long before I had to stop seeing my boys before the stress of her campaign of ongoing abuse drove me to suicide. My older boy said to me one time towards the end they were with me. That “in mummy’s house there was a black energy climbing up the walls and curving over like a wave at the top, and that the energy hated me and wanted to kill me.” He asked me if I thought that energy was Nanna K *? (my mother) as he knew that I’d cut my family away at this point for “hurting me when I was little and not believing me now” (in adult speak due to the recovered memoires of CSA, torture and sacrifice from my childhood, and to protect myself and my own family from my extended family of abusers and enablers). Now my mother is certainly a similar type of witch. but I said to him I think it IS witch energy son, but I don’t think it’s my mother.
I wish I’d of told them that their mother was the witch that haunted them both. 😞 That was a failing of mine.
10/ throughout my separation from my ex, I have been beset my nightmares and incredibly vivid dreams, for much of it I’ve rarely managed more that 4-5 hours sleep a night. In these dreams (which always increase in intensity before I receive the latest email from a solicitor or someone else) when I am able to remember them, there is always some form of someone or something trying to get close to me, only to gradually change into her image and for me to throw her off me.
At times I have been made physically ill by such psychic abuse, and during such illness have seen minds eye images as black tubes coming out of my chest which she feeds on me through.
So too I have caught glimpses of her energy at the window of my room.
There as one disturbing event actually before I broke up with her, when it felt like her energy came into the spare room I was sleeping in and tried to have sex with/rape me…. the spirit image was not that dissimilar to the girl off the movie ‘the ring’
Such succubus use sex to control and enmesh their victims to them.
11/ last night, I woke up at 0230 after a particularly bad dream. In it I was exploring a land, there was a dog walker who was strange (it’s as if the dark invasive energy is always searching for an association past my defences), and basically the dream progressed to me being in a house, in a room, where suddenly it felt like there were heavy rocks in my coat pockets, and I was being swirled around and around down towards the floor in a whirlpool motion, I know I called out as I tried to wake up, groaning aloud in real life, in the dream I eventually managed to kick something invisible away from me with both legs, it was palpable even though my legs didn’t physically move, and I woke up knowing that it was her and that she was trying to repossess or kill me.
Since leaving her I’ve often had markings around my neck when I’ve woken up, and sometimes I’ve had the impression of her sitting on my chest, I sleep on my side as much as I can to keep her off me.
** In closing, I will tell you what I’ve learnt about the spiritual aspect of narcissistic abuse. In the hopes it helps you in some way.
I know that the witch first and foremost wants to turn me to the darkness, to the same darkness that she has bonded with. If she cannot achieve that, she will make do with killing me/pushing me to suicide, or disempowering and ruining me to such an extent – that I never fully recover…. as it is I’m fairly isolated and impoverished, for now 😇.
Basically those who have bonded with the darkness taken form, seek to spread it’s corruption, they also feed through what intentionally caused suffering they can. And in particular with men they aim to prevent men from being wild and true. And keep them from remembering and upholding their promise of service to the AllFather (God) and protection of the EarthMother (Goddess).
This witches strategies have included an unending campaign of frustrating, gaslighting, provoking, blaming, misrepresenting, reactive abuse, never being happy, attacking, smearing, triangulating me with others, making me small, hating and envying me while also coveting and being envious of me.
Just in case anyone queries; I was exceptionally supportive, loving, affectionate and adoring of her. Yes I’m a bit rough around the edges, and hard to directly push over, but I loved her and tried my best to make sure she knew it.
This witch knows that my greatest pain is the loss of my children and so has used that weapon again and again as a means of controlling me and hurting me and trying to bring me into line/back to her or to suicide.
This witch has tried everything from seduction, to gifts, to fake and empty ‘kindness’ and ‘concern’ to various ’emergencies’ to try and lure me back into her web.
I know that such monsters, are most powerfully able to access their victims through sex. Sex is sacred – and when we have it with another, powerful soul ties and energetic lines are created, lines of connection such abusers use to steal energy even over distance, and even to offload their own negative emotions and experiences into their victim. Also they are able to access their victims mind through the empathic bond.
So too I’ve seen a way they use a form of inverted empathy to suss out their victims weaknesses and wounds for them to take advantage of and gradually worsen.
For example, do you remember the way my ex tried to use these white witches as a reason for me failing to protect her and a child in a previous life resulting in their terrible death. Have a read of THIS and then come back, see how perfectly and not fully consciously the dark spirit in her and her tuned into the repressed pain of my trauma and story, as a means of holding that past life guilt OVER me as a means of entrapping and controlling me though guilt?
I have gone zero contact, done cord cutting, focussed on my life and my healing and so on, burnt sage, prayed and etc….
It has all helped in some ways, and in other ways none has been enough to protect me.
I do know there is a coven aspect to how the abuse is manifested over distance. Witches and warlocks coming together, casting words spells against their victims…. and also using the energy and attention of the weak minded flying monkey-familiar’s that surround them to strengthen the shit they send my way, and who re-enforce the fake image and persona the witch so desperately weaves (because they cannot bear to see what they truly are).
In order for an enemy to be defeated it must be understood.
And all witches and warlocks, all of those bonded with the darkness taken form, perform a kind of glamour spell, which hides their true image and allows them to move among us as one of us. They also project an energetic impression of our SOUL MATE, which is a huge part of the reason it is so difficult to escape such abusers.
The image of the spider, the crone the serpent. Are true images of their real character. There will come the day when none of them can hide behind such spells anymore.
I know that the life force that they steal from their victims (as their polarity has become inverted and they no longer generate life force as they should), mostly gets syphoned off to feed the Satanic Demiurge’ – the fallen Creator that has come here to feed upon us all. This is why their true form is so withered and desperate.
So too I KNOW, that witches like all abusers, count on their victims NOT speaking out, and do everything to ensure their victims are not believed when they do. Regardless I will continue to speak out and work to expose her as I do all of my abusers.
They cannot be saved or helped. They can only be shown boundary, spoken truth to and made to suffer the consequences of their wickedness. The easiest way for them to be saved, is by them proactively choosing AND engaging with the sacrament of forgiveness.
In all my journey, coming to see such malice within (some) women has been incredibly difficult for me to see.
Soon a good woman will be with me, my Beloved, my Soul Mate (who I last saw brutally murdered in front of me when I was 12ish years old), and I know the witch is desperate to win me back, not because she loves me (in a human way at least), but she does believe she owns me, and she knows she will never get a source of love and warmth and kindness and wildness and ENERGY as me again – not even close.
There is a wisdom in ‘getting laid after a break up’ as to lie with a good man or a good woman who truly loves you, does much to over write and dispel the dark bonds the witch or warlock has put into their victim, real love can help those hooks finally be pulled clear.
(and yes we MUST be cautious about sex, as it IS sacred and should not be a frivolous thing)
My ex knows that my good woman draws close. And also she cannot understand why I haven’t returned to her.
In years gone by, when I was less aware as I am now, in my attempts to escape such women, the dreams or such projected experiences into me, or such word spells would of drawn me back to them again and again.
I would never go back to her, not even if she was the last woman in this entre world.
She has cheated on me since the beginning, first of all with a man called Sean in Oslo. She has intentionally used my trauma as a means of hurting me and turning others away from me, she has been planting seeds about me in others throughout our whole relationship, she has driven me to the edge of madness, and to nearly kill me on several occasions by taking my children from me on several occasions.
It was so hard for me to see what she was doing, she was far more subtle than my mother and other ex’s, she had a very effective false image of spiritual/feminine/intelligent/vulnerable. And she was so good at using my tendency to blame myself for everything as well as leading me to believe that she had suffered similar abuse – so I unconsciously put up with her malice towards me thinking it was an expression of her own repressed trauma.
But the truth is, I NOW see her and those like her for what they are, and they just like the rest of my abusers – will one day be brought to justice FULLY for what they have done.
And I will never bend the knee to her or the courts that she uses against me, I will never comply, I know that none of this has gone the way she expected. She has continually underestimated me.
I’ve said to my ex on several occasions, that if she wishes to heal: she must have the courage to look in the mirror and see medusa staring back at herself. The courage to see her true spirit form as the withered and bitter life stealing crone she has become. Only then is salvation possible.
I know now beyond any doubt, that in that eye contact practice so long ago, I really did get to see her truly! And if in all our years together, should she of had the courage to face what she is, I would of stayed with her and loved her through it all.
I know now that she won’t, she’s too bonded to her compelling false image. And so she is damned.
And please bear in mind that if you have been in contact with a dark triad personality, that there IS a spiritual component to their abuse. Understanding that will massively help prevent you being drawn back to them (possibly to your doom), and will help to protect you and your mind ongoingly.
Thankyou for reading
Narcissist study list:
We all have an urgent DUTY to study up on and become an EXPERT on the phenomena of narcissism and covert/vulnerable narcissism, once you understand this disorder and spiritual infection for what it is, you’ll be better able to recognise and deal with these camouflaged predators.
EVERY abuser at their core has a dark, parasitic, narcissistic energy. Whether they be an emotional and psychological covert abuser, whether they be a violent spouse and parent, weather they be a rapist or a paedophile, whether they be a malicious murderer..
Here’s some essential topics on narcissism and covert narcissism, all of which you NEED to become an expert on in order for our children and fellow GOOD men and women to be safe:
- How Narcs trap their victim: https://youtu.be/BWUDLnMfH7Y
- Emotional incest:
- False persona:
- Hoovering: https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o
- Love bombing:
- Breadcrumbing: https://youtu.be/tned8H1DD2M
- Reactive abuse: https://youtu.be/t1OMOS8rkUw
- Isolating: https://youtu.be/sFzcZgFMZ7I
- Smear campaign:
- Flying monkeys: https://youtu.be/KLOWZ2h1-QY
- Covert abuse:
- Hooks: https://youtu.be/gioiP1-vl7M
- Hate/malice: https://youtu.be/K7Mbl-rk8E8
- Trauma bonding: https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o
- Narcissistic projection
- Psychic abuse: https://youtu.be/Nqr7B6nhilg
- No contact: https://youtu.be/zI8T2qoujqo
- Parasitic life stealing: https://youtu.be/Pywa2sIFZ9E
- Covert / vulnerable narcissism:
- Narcissistic stonewalling: https://youtu.be/Vr7w6eeI8Ns
- Why you can’t forgive a narc: https://youtu.be/F6GsU2JNEMA
- Covert narcissism and your kids: https://youtu.be/8AWmqAfHuHA
- 4 ways to torture a narc: https://youtu.be/_–kMNWrQqo
- How narcissistic abuse feels like love: https://youtu.be/zsOIIKddxdU