Dear Brothers, dear Sisters
In this footage originally recorded Saturday 18th July 2020

I relived more explicitly, the moments before they ritualistically killed the girl Helena, and then force fed her to me. This footage is of particular note, as in the body/somatic memories that I record – so you see the first time I relived Wolf possessing me..

Deep within us, there is a place of KNOWING and of resonance with TRUTH, our animal aspect is also found there, although at the time this footage was recorded – I went from believing Wolf was some kind of survival instinctive drive in me, to believing he was a protective spirit, one of these shadows within shadows I saw on the other side which our Creator had unleashed… Eventually I came to see in my story that Wolf was a part of me, and that he had always been with me, but as with so much of my story of remembering – that was so confronting and mind breaking – the information that was revealed to me…. was released in drips and drabs and in portions that I could bear to digest.

It’s emotional and gruelling work, re-watching the footage to edit and takes notes of and process for publishing publicly.

Please bear in mind if you jump into my story at this point, it may feel a bit jarring from a continuity consideration… however it is VERY illuminating on how these highly organised and ritualist paedophile networks go about sacrificing children AND ensuring the survivors NEVER speak or even remember what it is that they suffered.

Also bear in mind, for myself and for any survivor of CSA… the beginning – when memories first start returning, and the overwhelming emotions and pain and so on…. is the most difficult, it was an incredibly difficult time for me, and I’m proud of how I held it all together.

15:47 video 1, mornings thoughts and reflections
46:32 video 2, mornings thoughts and reflections
53:34 video 3 5 minute warm up of body memories
59:26 video 4 BODY MEMORIES, before they kill the girl, and WOLF possessing me
01:43:03 video 5 thoughts and words on “the thing they feed”
01:45:00 thoughts and reflections on videos 1&2
01:59:15 thoughts and reflections on videos 3&4
02:10:34 thoughts and reflections on video 5 and wrapping up

Those that commit such evil crimes, know very well how protected by the system they are, and how the only testimony of victims such as myself is patchy and broken, these body memories the clearest testimony you will find on these matters.

Body Memories: At times you see me rolling about on the bed in my shorts… other times you see me animating the face or mannerisms of my abusers, or speak out their words as if my body is some kind of audio recorder… These are somatic / body memories, and obviously feels vulnerable and exposing to release.


* (website for Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, they also have a podcast)
* (an excellent subreddit in which you can get any question answered surrounding MDMA assisted therapy)
* Book: “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
* Book: “Waking the tiger” by Peter Levine
* Book: “Healing Trauma” by Peter Levine
* Book: “The language of emotions” by Karla MacKlaren
* Book: “When the body says no” by Gabor Mate
* Book: “The body remembers” by Babette Rothschild
* Book: “Ancestral medicine” by Daniel Foor
* (a horrifying aspect of CSA which we ALL need to be informed about)
* (excellent blog covering most aspects of CSA)

Narcissism resources:
* (mind games and tactics of female narc)
* (narcissistic pseudo spirituality)
* (how to break the spiritual bond with a narc)

To Love
To Protect
To Lead by example
To seek truth, no matter how terrible
To do the right thing, no matter the cost

The oldest of our Sacred Laws: The blood of the innocent shall NOT be defiled.

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