Dear Men and Women

well thank god, we got there – the last episode of the second MDMA treatment…. the last time I’ll have to look at the forsaken facilitator in quite some time…..

It really has been a process in itself, watching this footage and seeing the actions of the facilitator with fresh eyes…. again at the end of the recorded footage, I do breakdown at the end… And….. I’m excited, now the really crazy stuff can start getting published, the majority of which I process on my own and without interference of another…

In the coming episodes after this, the girl…. the sacrifice…. my mind shattering, and so on….

Please watch #1, #2, #3 etc.. before this, #1 in particular covers a lot of points around the medicine and preparation and so on. In this video I share the 6th and final segment from my second MDMA treatment.

In the footage you can see in particular the language patterns used by the abuser evolving in a very practised and alarming manner… My body acting as some kind of somatic audio recorder.. Replaying the words of those also around me while also reanimating what they physically did to me as a five and a half year old boy. (please note this footage was originally recorded 2 years ago, and at the time of initially re-experiencing it, I was aware that I was under 10 years old. I came to understand that my most accurate age sense was that I was actually a 5 and a half year old boy when these events occurred, while we lived in Africa as ExPats)

WARNING: In this video I use footage from my second treatment in which I was reliving being raped as a child by several invisible adults, some may find the content triggering or upsetting, proceed accordingly.

Caution: I am NOT a health professional, and before undertaking any therapy of any description please consult with a therapist AND do LOTS of your own research (inside AND outside of societally prescribed boxes), some resources are provided below. Resources:

* (website for Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, they also have a podcast)
* (an excellent subreddit in which you can get any question answered surrounding MDMA assisted therapy)
* Book: “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
* Book: “Waking the tiger” by Peter Levine
* Book: “Healing Trauma” by Peter Levine
* Book: “The language of emotions” by Karla MacKlaren
* Book: “When the body says no” by Gabor Mate
* Book: “The body remembers” by Babette Rothschild
* Book: “Ancestral medicine” by Daniel Foor
* (a horrifying aspect of CSA which we ALL need to be informed about)
* (excellent blog covering most aspects of CSA)
* Narcissism resources:
* (mind games and tactics of female narc)
* (narcissistic pseudo spirituality)
* (how to break the spiritual bond with a narc)

To Love
To Protect
To Lead by example
To seek truth, no matter how terrible
To do the right thing, no matter the cost

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