Hello men and women!
Please watch #1, #2 and #3 before this, #1 in particular covers a lot of points around the medicine and preparation and so on.
In this video I share the 3rd 55minute segment from my second MDMA treatment. In the footage you can see in particular the language patterns used by the abuser evolving in a very practised manner… My body acting as some kind of somatic audio recorder.. Replaying the words of those also around me.
This footage feels particularly exposing due to some of the positions I’m moved into, and also due to my tongue sticking out – which I remember from the original re-experiencing, I had to learn to do so I didn’t choke while being raped in my mouth.
(please note this footage was originally recorded 2 years ago, and at the time of initially re-experiencing it, I was aware that I was under 10 years old. I came to understand that my most accurate age sense was that I was actually a 5 and a half year old boy when these events occurred, while we lived in Africa as ExPats)
WARNING: In this video I use footage from my second treatment in which I was reliving being raped as a child by several invisible adults, some may find the content triggering or upsetting, proceed accordingly. Caution: I am NOT a health professional, and before undertaking any therapy of any description please consult with a therapist AND do LOTS of your own research (inside AND outside of societally prescribed boxes), some resources are provided below.
Resources:
* MAPS.org (website for Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, they also have a podcast)
* www.reddit.com/r/mdmatherapy/ (an excellent subreddit in which you can get any question answered surrounding MDMA assisted therapy)
* Book: “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
* Book: “Waking the tiger” by Peter Levine
* Book: “Healing Trauma” by Peter Levine
* Book: “The language of emotions” by Karla MacKlaren
* Book: “When the body says no” by Gabor Mate
* Book: “The body remembers” by Babette Rothschild
* Book: “Ancestral medicine” by Daniel Foor
* https://thedirtiestsecret.blogspot.com/2008/08/pedophiles-know-dissociationdo-you.html (a horrifying aspect of CSA which we ALL need to be informed about)
* https://csasurvivors.home.blog/2020/01/10/the-false-memory-myth-memory-repression/ (excellent blog covering most aspects of CSA)
* https://larrysanger.org/2019/12/why-pedophilia-is-evil/
To do the right thing, no matter the cost To seek truth, no matter how terrible
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