Dear men and women,
In this video there is the second segment of 55 minutes of footage from my second MDMA journey/treatment. There will be 6 parts detailing the complete journey so you can see for yourself how it all unfolds.
I was and remain incredibly grateful for the medicine and what it allowed me to remember.
My paedophile so called father and my disgusting-disowned family who support him… would have me think that I have merely undergone some kind of drug induced psychosis… which according to them allows me to finally feel like a victim – or as someone who is special, so I can get the attention that I’ve always been so desperate to have… !?!?!?
I challenge anyone who watches this kind of footage to genuinely come to the conclusion that it ‘isn’t real.’ Or that I’m doing it ‘for attention’ or whatever else….
See more on the wisdom of our bodies, how the body keeps track of everything it experiences, especially traumatic results that are too difficult to bear at the time. #thebodyremembers #thebodykeepsthescore #thebodydoesntlie
Of particular note: What started in the last segment, and continued throughout this one, was the voice I kept speaking out: “It’s not your fault, I just couldn’t help it” – at the time I was horrified in a way, I KNEW the voice wasn’t mine…. and so this is the first of many occasions where my body has replayed words that my abusers said to me…. like some kind of old school cassette audio recorder.
Another point of note in this footage, is the grind….. going around and around and then dropping a level into deeper layers of experience. NOTHING about the last couple of years, in which I’ve relived so much of what was done to me has been easy…. I’ve earnt my learnings and my wisdom with blood, sweat, tears, heartbreak and the repeated shattering of my mind…
I know that as I keep sharing my story, it will gradually become harder and harder for my detractors to doubt me. At some point – my treacherous and cowardly and disowned ‘brothers,’ along with the rest of my ‘family,’ along with ALL of those who have turned against me due to the machinations of my narcissistic-witch of an EX, OR who did so simply because they are too chicken shit to accept such evil happens in the world – and so they more readily choose to make me wrong or mad or whatever else…. than consider that I DID survive such evil.
I will NEVER forgive those who betrayed me, those who could of made things right throughout my remembering – but who instead chose to play it out all over again, just like when I was a child. But I am not a child anymore, I don’t need any of you, and each and every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Infact one day, I will have vengeance upon you all. Cowards, enablers, violators, weak minded complicit fools that you are.
I’ve made more than reasonable attempts to protect the identity of the facilitator/guide who has since utterly betrayed me.
Please watch #1, #2 and #3 before this, #1 in particular covers a lot of points around the medicine and preparation and so on.
(please note this footage was originally recorded 2 years ago, and at the time of initially re-experiencing it, I was aware that I was under 10 years old. I came to understand that my most accurate age sense was that I was actually a 5 and a half year old boy when these events occurred, while we lived in Africa as ExPats)
WARNING: In this video I use footage from my second treatment in which I was reliving being raped as a child, some my find the content triggering or upsetting, proceed accordingly.
Caution: I am NOT a health professional, and before undertaking any therapy of any description please consult with a therapist AND do LOTS of your own research (inside AND outside of societally prescribed boxes), some resources are provided below.
To do the right thing, no matter the cost
To seek truth, no matter how terrible
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