Dear men and women,
In this video there is the first 55 minutes of footage from my second MDMA journey/treatment. There will be 6 parts detailing the complete journey so you can see for yourself how it all unfolds.

It has been rather…. draining and unsettling in ways – going through the footage again, in the into/outro sections I’m a little bit of a mess, and when part of my experience is seemingly screaming for me not to put this out there – so I must be ok with putting it out there warts ‘n all.

I’ve made more than reasonable attempts to protect the identity of the facilitator/guide who has since betrayed me.

Please watch #1 and #2 before this, #1 in particular covers a lot of points around the medicine and preparation and so on. This is really where it gets interesting IMO, the first 25 minutes or so start fairly slowly, but I do think it’s worth watching it all the way through. So you can see the medicine helps my body to unfold and replay what I had carried for so long.

(please note this footage was originally recorded 2 years ago)

WARNING: In this video I use footage from my second treatment in which I was reliving being raped as a child, some my find the content triggering or upsetting, proceed accordingly.

Caution: I am NOT a health professional, and before undertaking any therapy of any description please consult with a therapist AND do LOTS of your own research (inside AND outside of societally prescribed boxes), some resources are provided below.


  • (website for Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, they also have a podcast)
  • (an excellent subreddit in which you can get any question answered surrounding MDMA assisted therapy)
  • Book: “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
  • Book: “Waking the tiger” by Peter Levine
  • Book: “Healing Trauma” by Peter Levine
  • Book: “The language of emotions” by Karla MacKlaren
  • Book: “When the body says no” by Gabor Mate
  • Book: “The body remembers” by Babette Rothschild
  • Book: “Ancestral medicine” by Daniel Foor
  • (a horrifying aspect of CSA which we ALL need to be informed about)
  • (excellent blog covering most aspects of CSA)

To do the right thing, no matter the cost
To seek truth, no matter how terrible

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