Lets assume for now, that as my critics may say, that I am doing all of this for attention, that I have made it up, or suffer from a confused or broken mind, that I am in need of medication – or even being locked up… Lets assume that my story is not true and that I am some poor and confused soul…
Even with that being the case (should it be true) – I trust you CAN believe that children are at risk of grooming, sexual abuse, and in extreme cases torture?
Are you willing to consider that the problem is more widespread than you currently believe?
Did you know, that apparently, around 30% of violators are the parents, around 60% are trusted friends/extended family members, and that only 10% are unknown to the victim – snatch and grab type assaults against a child.
THE PRACTICE OF DISSOCIATION
Did you know that paedophiles around the world share images as well as techniques and “best practices” amongst each other, on the internet and dark web.
One of their (widely shared) practices, which I was ignorant of until my recent revelations, was the practice of evoking the human physiological response of disassociation. This response is normally provoked in the victim by the time they are 6, or at the latest 9.
In being successful in creating dissociation, this not only protects the violator (because how could the child disclose about something they have no conscious recollection of), it also allows the violator to CONTINUE to abuse the poor child!
Not only does it condemn the child to live with that unconscious trauma racing around their neurology and physiology for the rest of their life (likely resulting in chronic illness or suicide), but it also means that when the truth does start to come out, it comes out in such a way that makes it VERY hard for uneducated people to understand or believe.
Some of the ways the dissociative response is activated is through:
- Threatening the child with death if they speak out, or threats against pets, family members and so on.
- By making the threats relative to the particular fears that children have, such as “if you EVER tell anyone, you will be eaten by a shark/I will hunt you down and chop you up/etc..”
- In the breaking of trust in protective figures (as the violator is overwhelmingly a trusted figure), and so the child’s feeling of safety and thus disclosure is affected with ALL adults and caregivers.
- The use of costumes (a demon mask, presidents face, a werewolf in father Christmas outfit) – so that even IF the child does disclose – they would not be believed, OR even dressing up as blue light services (police/ambulance/fireman) to create fearful triggers again to hamper the chance of effective disclosure.
In the terror, the overwhelm, the violation, the prolongation of assault, the lack of saviour and protection – eventually the mind and body take over, burying memories and sensation deep with the body, wishing to be revealed one day – but often unable to be so, such was the threat, and such is the failing of our society.
These violators, are often well informed in such practises, and share it on their forums. PLEASE bear the above in mind.
HOW (not) TO RESPOND AS A SUPPORT FIGURE.
Several people have reached out to me as a result of my posts, most have relayed their experience of the tendency for some friends/family/associates to want to “brush it under the carpet and get on with life”, to “not make a big deal of it” ETC…..
If I try and understand this response, I can only come up with, that it is too painful to consider as true, and thus ones subsequent failings as a parent or guardian – AND SO THEY TRY AND SHUT IT DOWN… Or the pain that such things would be done against children, and on what scale, and what that then means about the wider world – causes mental discombobulation and refusal to accept…
So I can understand that response to a degree, BUT it IS incredibly harmful. For a child/adult to disclose such information, despite the pain and the horror and violation of what they experienced in and of itself… there is a very good chance that they have had to take courage and act against very real threats against themselves and their loved ones, that they have had to cradle the wounded and violated child part in themselves, that is still terrified and overwhelmed… and to speak out in spite of that.
To have the outside world, then rubbish or not give credence to it, is enough for it to be buried again, possibly never again to emerge – missing the chance of healing and integration.
On a wider scale, such cognitive dissonance, is unfortunately part of what makes such abuse able to take place. This NEEDS to change, we MUST be more educated as a PEOPLE, as friends, parents, neighbours and so on.
Another thing that is missed in such a response, in the non acceptance… the legitimate emotions of protective anger and rage, grief, holding, love, shame and so on are not expressed – and thus the victim also misses out on genuine impact from those around them, those cracks in the phyce caused in pain and terror – un-filled with genuine and heartfelt emotion from ones tribe, which IS essential in the healing process.
It takes a tribe to heal.
How to respond?
BELIEVE them, TRUST them, ALLOW your emotional response, hold them close, and take action as needed to address what has happened (therapy/healing/police/understanding/galvanise your people/etc…)
I am blessed to have many amazing people around me, both in my social/family life – as well as professional services. Many are not so fortunate.
It takes a tribe to heal.
Awareness IS the first step of change.
And THANKYOU for reading.
> an excellent article with only one bit I disagree with (where it dismisses ritualist abuse): https://thedirtiestsecret.blogspot.com/2008/08/pedophiles-know-dissociationdo-you.html